Coping with Divorce
Starting a new life…
You remember the day you said, “I do.” Everything was rosy, light, and new…
… until it wasn’t.
Arguments started escalating with no resolution in sight.
You knew couples had their ups and downs but figured you could “weather the storm,” “right the ship,” or at least “hang on for dear life.”
You never wanted to become another cliché of couples gone wrong.
Drifting apart…
No one told you it would be this hard – feeling yourself grow distant from your partner.
Before long, it was hard to imagine anything bridging the gap between you. There it was: total disconnection.
But the marriage continued, and you wore different masks and went through the motions to get by each day.
And nothing helped: counseling, self-help books, trying to reignite the spark… it all fell flat.
Deciding to leave…
Whether your partner betrayed you or you betrayed yourself by staying in a marriage that wasn’t right for you, the decision to get a divorce is difficult and life-changing.
Culture, family expectations, your perception of marriage, divorce, children, and the home you’ve created all play into your decision of whether to stay or to go.
Working through your ambivalence takes a toll on your psyche, and telling your partner takes courage and a leap of faith.
Moving out…
One of you is moving out; both of you are moving on.
The divorce process is much like the grief process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
There is no rulebook for divorce; the stages of divorce and the emotions associated with them shift back and forth.
It’s unpredictable and overwhelming at times.
Navigating the grief and embracing a different life…
I will work with you to help you heal and reclaim joy during and after your divorce.
Helping you heal…
Healing begins when you allow yourself access to your emotions. Whether you need to cry, vent your anger, or reminisce about the good times, therapy is a safe space to express your feelings as you work your way through divorce.
We’ll also map out a self-care plan to help you heal. That plan will involve setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, so you can grieve the loss of your marriage.
We’ll also ensure you have a solid support system to help you through the emotional pain of divorce.
Reclaiming your joy…
Rediscovering who you are without your partner can be anxiety-provoking and scary. That’s normal; it happens as you uncover what’s authentic.
Together, we’ll clarify your values, acknowledge the pain, and let go of resentments, so you can make room for joy to enter.
You’ll reconnect with your creative side and step into the unknown rather than watch from the sidelines.
Improving your confidence…
Divorce has a way of making you doubt your choices, emotionally and materially negotiate and bargain with your soon-to-be ex, and feel “less than.”
During our work together, you’ll build resilience and self-awareness, develop assertive communication skills, interrupt and counter negative thoughts, and live with intention. Co-parenting and new routines may seem difficult at first, but with clarity and practice, these things will fall into place.
Improving your confidence happens one step at a time. Small steps become big steps, big steps lead to accomplishments, and accomplishments reinforce the belief that you can tackle any challenge that comes your way.
Bolstering your self-esteem…
Divorce can create guilt and shame. The important thing is to acknowledge that… and let it go. When you do, you’ll reaffirm who you are and solidify your plans to get through this difficult life chapter.
No one plans to get divorced. Irreconcilable differences are just that: differences you can’t resolve together as a married couple. Divorce does not equal failure, and it certainly doesn’t mean YOU are a failure.
Our work together will focus on accepting the changes that come with divorce.
You’ll discover the power of positive self-talk and positive affirmations.
You’ll develop goals and action steps that keep you focused and making progress toward a new life.
You’ll learn to step out of your comfort zone and look at life through the lens of a newly single person.
Taking a brave step forward…
Feeling better about yourself and this new chapter may take some time. That’s okay; there’s no rush.
I can’t promise it will be easy, but I’ll be right beside you to provide counsel, coping tools, support, and a safe space to navigate this complicated journey.
It’s time to walk through the tumult of divorce, one day at a time.
Call or reach out through the contact form to begin this painful but important next step: (619) 368-2122.