Codependency and Relationship Challenges
Jeff* was ready to make a commitment.
After all, he loved John*, and it seemed like they’d come to that part in the relationship: the “happily ever after.”
But Jeff was bothered by the nagging realization that he did everything on John’s terms. His voice wasn’t being heard. Constantly acquiescing to keep the peace in the relationship, it got lost along the way.
“Something just doesn’t feel right,” Jeff thought.
Julia* had been hurt one too many times.
“Why?” she asked herself. “I always go out of my way to make sure he’s happy.”
That’s what Julia does: She goes from one boyfriend to the next, always “fixing” everything to keep them happy. Somehow, though, it never pans out.
Now, she finds herself alone… again.
Over-giving: A hallmark of codependency…
Jeff and Julia are “over-givers.” And like most over-givers, they gave so much that they lost themselves in the process.
Does this pattern sound familiar to you? It’s often hard to notice until it’s “too late,” as codependency usually sneaks into relationships subtly… bit by bit.
But codependency will reign if you’re serving others to the exclusion of yourself.
But there’s something you can do about it.
To break the pattern, you have to see it first. You can then examine and deconstruct it. I’m here to help you do that.
This work will restore truth and compassion to your relationships, with healthy boundaries and open communication at the forefront.
When you have boundaries and a sense of self, intimacy (physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual, and spiritual) emerges and has room to grow.
Jeff and Julia got the help they needed.
As Jeff learned to voice his own needs…
… and establish healthy boundaries for himself, his relationship with John improved. He was surprised when John responded to his requests with a renewed interest in their relationship.
It was rocky at first as the dynamics shifted, but Jeff continued to establish and maintain healthy boundaries, allowing him to have his wants and needs met, too.
Jeff’s fears of breaking up continued dissipating, allowing reciprocity and respect to flourish between them. And wouldn’t you know… a subsequent elopement was soon in the works.
Julia started dating Brian*, her roommate’s friend.
Julia knew she had to try a different approach in the relationship if she wanted a different outcome.
She left her “fix everything” mentality at the door, ready to discover where it could lead. Instead of fixing, she asked questions and chose not to make assumptions.
Julia learned to resolve conflict confidently rather than smoothing things over just to “move on.” For the first time, addressing the relationship’s challenges led her to overcome them, leading to a loving, healthy, Iasting relationship.
It’s time to take action!
Don’t wait another minute to resuscitate your relationship.
You can turn things around – just as Jeff and Julia did.
Let’s get started!
Call today and let’s talk more during your free consultation: (619) 368-2122.
*Names and stories are composite narratives and do not reflect actual clients.